| Joke 1 |
| Yo momma is so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her. |
| Joke 2 |
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Why is urine yellow and sperm white?So men can tell if they are coming or going.
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| Joke 3 |
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The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his cheek. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in at six o'clock in the morning?""There is." he replied, "Breakfast."
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| Joke 4 |
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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| Joke 5 |
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Three men were taking a trip on a plane. When they get on the pilot tells the passengers not to throw anything out of the windows. The plane lifts off and they're on their way. On the plane the first man finds a pencil and wondering what to do with it. He is told by one of the other men to throw it out the window, so he does. Then the second guy finished his apple and wondering how to get rid of the core. He asks the other two men, they tell him to throw it out the window, so he does. Next the third man finds a grenade! Panicking he throws it out the window.After the plane had landed the three men were walking down the street when they came across a guy holding his eye. The three men asked him what happened, he said he had looked up in the sky and a pencil fell and hit him in the eye. So the three men continued down the street and they come across a man holding his head, the three ask him what's wrong? The man says that he was walking down the street and an apple core fell on his head! Feeling a little strange the men continue down the street when they come across a man holding his stomach lauging his head off! The three ask him what's so funny? The man replies, I farted and that building exploded!
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| Joke 6 |
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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?None. They use candles.
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| Joke 7 |
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A social worker asks a colleague: "What time is it?"The other one answers: "Sorry, don't know, I have no watch."The first one: "Never mind! The main thing is that we talked about it."
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| Joke 8 |
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A man is having problems with his Johnson which certainly had seen better times. He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out; you only have 30 erections left in your penis."The man walks home (deeply depressed); his wife is already expecting him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem. He tells her what the doc told him. She says, "Oh no, only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that. We should make a list!"He replies, "Yes, I already made a list on the way home. Sorry, your name isn't on it."
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| Joke 9 |
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Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"Soldier: "Sure, buddy."Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again!"Officer: "Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?"Soldier: "No, SIR!"
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| Joke 10 |
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Computer games don't affect kids. If Pacman would have affected us as children, we would now run around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetetive music.
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